12:49am. I give sleep a call.
Me: Hey, where’d you go?
Sleep: What do you mean?
Me: You were here two hours ago when I was dozing off on the couch, then I go to the bathroom and I get out and you’re gone.
Sleep: Yeah sorry, I had to go out for a while.
Me: Out for a while? It’s 1 in the morning for chrissakes.
Sleep: I’m with a girl. I’ll be back later.
Me: Later when?
Sleep: 3 o’clock maybe…
Me: Fuuuuck. Are you serious?
Sleep: ‘fraid so.
Me: Well have fun then, you prick.