Wanna buy a cup?


That’s an expensive cock. Vincent Yu/AP Photo

Then why not pay $36 million for this one? You don’t have $36 million? That’s a damn shame because your loss is Chinese billionaire collector Liu Yiqian’s gain as he paid that $36 million you donn’t have for the above pictured, Ming-dynasty, porcelain wine cup. 

Let’s put that purchase into perspective. Here are some other things he could have done with that ridiculous amount of money:

  1. He could’ve just kept it in a bank. At a low, low annual interest rate of just 2.8% it could be making him a million-fucking-dollars a year.
  2. He could’ve won the lottery; twice. Assuming that in a standard 6/49 lottery a single selection of 6 numbers costs him $1 and knowing that in such a setup the chances of winning are 1 in 13,983,816, he could take his $36 million and purchase the nearly 14 million combinations of numbers necessary to cover every possible outcome more than two times over (you would also, of course, have to ignore any ticket-buying limitations and the horrible impracticality of having to purchase said number of tickets). Sure, he would probably end up losing money on it since most jackpots are only worth a paltry few million, but being able to say you won the lottery twice would be pretty cool.
  3. He could’ve purchased a dozen million-dollar homes in 12 beautiful locations around the world and a midsize Gulfstream private jet to fly him between those homes.
  4. He could’ve  turned 36 random people into millionaires. How awesome would that be? Just walk up to someone give them a check for a million dollars and tell them not to spend it all in one place.
  5. Or he could’ve done something really great by providing 18000 Cambodian children with a full 4-year scholarship to college or university. 18000! According to some sources I found, a complete post-secondary education in Cambodia costs around $2000. “I could potentially improve the fortunes of an entire nation by creating 18000 skilled and educated young people OR I could buy a CUP!”
  6. And finally, he could’ve gotten himself 36 million one-dollar bills, put them all in a big pile and burnt them. Because yeah, he might as well have.

Any other suggestions?


2 thoughts on “Wanna buy a cup?

  1. griftysupreme

    You are forgetting the most awesome use of 36 mil, of course. If I had triple-digit millions, the only way one could piss away that much, I would buy that cup. I would look at it as close as the gentleman in the photo is, mime taking a drink to get some laughs and then to the horror of all involved I would smash it the fuck to pieces.

    Then I would make a Mose exit and run for the hills. Yes I would pay for it, but it would be worth it.

    One alternative would be to drink some whisky out of it as a toast to those who bid then smash it.

    Another is to piss in it and then smash it.

    In any event, the only reason to spend 36 mil on a ball bag receptacle is to smash the fuck out of it and freak out the ‘normals’.


    1. thelackey Post author

      Or just keep it around the house as a simple functional cup, taking it out whenever you have drinks and then just putting it through the dishwasher. No big deal.


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