Earth (The Book) has a ton of quotable content that is funny because it is true. Here is some:
A workforce proportionally based on children’s stated occupational goals would have caused the near-instantaneous collapse of civilization.
In societies where they were not needed as a cheap and nimble labor force, children between the ages of adorable and surly attended school. Here, unsuccessful adults known as teachers would instruct young people in subjects like reading, history and math, providing them with the critical knowledge they would need to pass tests on those subjects. Beyond their academic function, schools also served as social laboratories where children learned problem-solving and problem-having shills.
When all else failed, vodka was the Swiss Army knife of human courtship.
– Various writers, Earth (The Book)
The Lackey 